There was always a glare


I was just looking at some pics from my facebook albums that were from over the years. I noticed at one point in my life that when I took the pics they were from the inside looking out.

Some really beautiful ones too but there was always a glare in the pic from the window that I was taking the pic from behind. I love nature and the beautiful sceneries that I use to live right in the middle of but never really got out there and enjoyed any of it.

There are reasons but it doesn’t matter now. What matters is that I am no longer behind that window looking out.

It took time for me to realize that it’s okay to step out from behind that window and get rid of the glare.

Feel good and just breathe….jg 10255926_10203981026592013_2200333630201169584_o

 

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Don’t Give Up


I guess I already know the answer to my own question which is: why am I hesitant to blog, brag, or be happy about the relationship I’m in? Okay, so the answer to that is…because I don’t want to jinx myself and ruin a good thing. I’m so petrified of losing this or whatever that it is that I have going on with this great man I met and I’m acting like it’s no big deal when in actuality this life changing relationship for me is a huge deal.

I am so happy but yet scared and in denial at the same time. I lost my mom two years ago to the date on this coming August 19th and she was my best friend. I lost my house to a fire on Christmas Eve 4 months after I lost her and then my dog died 3 months after the fire. I’m not saying any of this to get sympathy because I am somewhat okay with all of that and came to terms with the fact that it’s all a part of life and they cycle that brings us to the place where we are meant to be.

I am blogging about it because I believe those things is what are holding me back from really enjoying what I have accomplished from that time in my life on until now.

Since then I have changed my life drastically. I knew if I didn’t I would have been dead, literally. I was spiraling down and fast prepping myself for a fatal crash landing.

My kids are what saved me. There was no way that I was going to have anyone raise them besides myself. Even though I don’t feel like I am going to be able to make a difference in this world, like Mother Theresa, but I feel like that my boys are going to be something big one day. So hard to explain but I’m on a roll so bear with my tangent that I’m gong off on!!

Back to my original reason why I am blogging today is because for the first time in a really long while, I am truly happy. I love the man I am going to spend the rest of my days with. He is my true best friend and soul mate. The one I have been looking for but never though it would be possible to find someone like him.

I’m not saying that our relationship is 100% perfect. No one has that. But he has the qualities that I have been looking for. I guess what I’m also trying to say is DON’T GIVE UP. Whoever you are reading this and if you are unhappy with your life in any area, it will get better. I promise. I never thought it was possible for me.

I truly believe the key to turning things around is positive thinking. You cannot buy a quick fix program to help you get your life back on track. It all comes from within. Think about what you want in life. Write it down and even cut pictures from a magazine or book of what you envision your life to be like and those dreams will come true. I did just that and it happened I swear. Oh the only book that I did read was, “The Secret.” I forgot the authors who put it together but it helped me in leaps and bounds. I still refer back to it from time to time when I feel like I need a little boost.

I’m not sure who and if anyone is actually going to take the time to read this post but if you do and you need someone to talk to, I’m here. I’m not judgmental or make the conversation about me. I am here to just to listen and offer some words of comfort if you need them.

Yea, I might just be a girl from Long Island, New York but I have been through a lot in my life that I believe gives me the credentials to help others. They say life experience is the best and I most certainly have to agree with that saying.

SWYF Sunday


There are times that in your mind you constantly give people the benefit of the doubt, trust in them, believe them, feel in your heart that the motives/intentions that the have for you are pure and in your best interest, right? I for the most part live my life with these types of beliefs but then there are those couple of people in your life that when you step back and analyze what type of relationship you have with them or what is it that is making the relationship a substantial meaningful one, it hits you. Well it hit me. The timing of the phone call, the words that are being exchanged, and that gut feeling that you know in your heart it’s all wrong.

Yet it’s wrong over and over again but why do we submit? Why do we hold on to that one piece of hope that things might change and turn around? It is the chain of events that have taken place repeatedly that I now realized it wasn’t for me it was for them. Their intentions were for their own best interest. No matter how much you want to believe that there was something genuine there, that feeling bursts. I always wanted to believe that it was good and right for all those years but little things that are surfacing now make me realize that half the time it was all bs. I’m not saying there was some “real” moments in there but in the end when they are trying to hold on to you to get what they can you finally wake up and say, ahhh I see. It took a while for me to wake up but I did finally with the help of someone else who doesn’t even know he helped me see how I should be treated, that is when it all became clear.

Like I said before, I really want to write a book about my life and start straight from the beginning. The course of events that have taken place in my life all lead up to somewhere and I think I am at the place where I’m suppose to be finally. We shall see….