Stop fearing and live your life

If you want to eliminate fear out of your life, the simplest way to do so is talk to a kid.  Kids have no fear to a degree and I guess that’s what gets them in trouble at times. But think of this, what do you have the greatest memories from and you more intense moments? Your childhood right? Think of all the careless, carefree things you did without hesitation when you were young? What kind of feelings did it give you then and what feeling does it give you now just thinking about it?

My kids do just that for me.  Not only do they bring me back in time, but they say to me, mom stop worrying just do it. So little by little I am.  Yesterday though I missed an opportunity of a life time.  I had the chance to go with both my sons(13 and 14) on a flight lesson over Piseco Lake in NY. Why? Because I was afraid.  That fear slighted me of something so amazing. How stupid can I be??? 

I guess I can’t beat myself up too much. Baby steps right? I fly high on the swings with them, I race on bicycles with them, we play manhunt at night, and we tell spooky stories by the fire.  I’m getting those feelings back and I feel like I’m starting life all over again. What a feeling!!!

Swing high on that swing my friends. Go for that rush you once had when you were younger.  You never know if you’ll get that opportunity again.  


Manifest your destiny

How can I put this… I am normal as they come so listen to this. When you hear about manifesting your destiny I know that there are people out there who think its a bunch of malarkey right?

People say if you think positive and put out in the universe what you want you will get it. I’ve read the book The Secret quite a long time ago and I try to pick it up now and then just to skim through some of the chapters to refresh my memory and give it a positive boost. And let me tell you, being a pretty normal gal from Long Island with two boys ages 11 and 12, who loves to ride Harley’s with her boyfriend, the improbably is possible. Trust me on this.

I was raised as a Catholic pasta eating person. I like to socialize and have a few on the weekends. I am not perfect nor do I ever pretend to be. I watch Criminal Minds, Bates Motel, The Walking Dead, binge eat at night sometimes, curse like a sailor when need be. I’m telling you this just to give you a clue of what I’m like so when I tell you this about manifesting your destiny, you can actually see the type of person I am and am not. If you catch my drift?

I’m not a holy roller, Wicca, or psychic, I’m just normal but I do believe that if you think about something enough or put positive thoughts in your mind, they will come true.

I’ve seen it a few times now in my life and I sit and think about how certain events have developed over a period of time. As of just recently like in the past 2 months, I went for a job interview for a job that was my dream job. It was for a Community Educator position with the YWCA. It is ideal for me because it is a job that I really can’t call it a job because it’s truly something I love doing. So low and behold I was called in for not one but two interviews.

I finally got the call from the HR woman to tell me that I DIDN’T get the job. Hmmm…. I wasn’t worried or upset. I knew that the position was still mine even though they hired someone else.

It was really weird because my sister and I talked about it and even she said, “Jeana, I feel like that position is yours and some how or some way you are going to get it in the long run.”

What do you think happened??  Two months later, they let the first candidate go and asked me if I was still interested in the position!

I’m not going to say, “oh how can this be?” You know why? Because I already now how it could be, I wished it to be mine and I put it out in the universe that the position was meant for me. Looked what happen. I’m going in this coming Monday to discuss the particulars.

People are probably saying, well how come you don’t wish yourself to win the lotto right? Well its kind of hard to explain but if you know in your heart what your intentions are realistically suppose to be, then that is how your destiny is truly meant to end up like. In the long run it is kinda like you won the lotto when you end up in a happy place.

That’s how I look at it anyway lol.

Good luck. Think positive. Manifest your thoughts and destiny. It will happen just stay focused and don’t lose hope. I promise it does work.



There is a lot to be said in those numbers. That is my blood pressure. One year ago today it was 199/100. I had an ekg done, stress test, and a numerous amounts of other tests. It all boiled down to my lifestyle which consisted of a tremendous amount of stress and a poor diet. So what I did was eliminate the stressors that caused me to “stress out” and I changed my diet.

It has been one week and two days since I’ve been off my Bystolic (BP) medicine and it is still down.

The reason why I am so ecstatic over this is because my sister died at the age of 47 and ultimately it was stress and her lifestyle that robbed her life at such a young age. I couldn’t do that to my kids so I knew I had to change something and I did.

I can’t finish this up now because Mike is picking us up and we are going to the mall and I have a ton more to say! But I hope you are all well out there xo


Life, you can do so many things with it. You can live it, or you can just sit back and watch it go by. I chose to live it for a change. I chose to not live it for others but for myself and do what I want to do and do what makes me happy.

I can’t even say that it sucks being alone because I’d be lying if I did. I’m not alone. I have so many friends and family that support me and the decision I made.

It wasn’t easy and I didn’t make this choice over night. It took a lot of thinking and I laid out my pros and cons. Obviously I had more pros.

I had started journals here and there and everything I posted was about me not being happy. I can’t say that I am 100% okay. I do feel guilty still for leaving him but

my best interest was to better the life for my boys and myself.

We did have our good times and I am going to miss his family but I said it several times to a lot of people, I can’t live for those few and far in between moments, and I can’t

live for his family. I was not happy in the relationship I was in. I felt so alone and my kids sensed that which is something I don’t want them to have to experience. They’re way to young to be worrying about me.

The past 5 years were just another stepping stone in my life. God had me go down that path for a reason. What it is I don’t know but it’s just part of the bigger blue print that he has laid out for me.

I hate making my blogs all about myself so the point I’m trying to get to in this post is, do what makes you happy and do it now. Time isn’t going to stand still while you make a decision. I can’t kick myself for not doing this sooner because the timing was part of the whole process and whatever is in store for me. But, from here on in I can learn from my past.

I know there are so many people out there reading this post or maybe eventually who will get to read it that will say to themselves, I wish I could just change my life/situation and make that move. Yes you can. Financially it may not be the perfect scenario but everything has a way of working it out. I worried about him financially and I worried about my self too obviously but that was another reason why I couldn’t stay. I didn’t want to stay because it was a good financial decision or I was afraid of being alone or losing friends.

I’m happy. My life is not perfect but I am very happy.

This post isn’t about bashing “him” or what went wrong either or he said she said, it’s about me and my boys and finding peace and happiness. I can’t believe that I am actually on that road.

Life is great and I have so much more to write about but I have to get the boys off the bus so this is it for now.

Thanks for listening.