No way two years later and I’m still here posting!!!


I just scrolled back to a blog post I did two years ago this coming March and I am happy to say I feel accomplished. It’s not that I accomplished anything major but I did continue on with my blog and I’m still here today.  So yes it’s possible to finish and continue what you started.  At times I feel like I can’t but that two year old post just confirmed and reassured me as well as gave me the confidence to keep going and so can you!!   Never give up! Anything is possible. That two year old post is found under “My Story” section.  Very interesting. Wow.  It’s amazing to go back and see what happened through the years.  Good, bad, or ordinary it’s interesting to see how life truly evolves. 

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My not so ordinary life


Standing on the outside looking in, for the most part people look like they have it together. I look basically normal on the outside and live a pretty basic life but there are days that are not so ordinary at all.

I just want to share my story if anyone is listening or can even relate to my trials and tribulations.

My blog varies ranges from everything to my current mood to my latest decoration epiphanies.

Currently I am obsessed with finishing my coffee bar before I go into surgery on the 26th of this mon(March 2015). Yup neck surgery. Laminectomy to be exact. C3 to C6. Bare with me when I blab about that as well.

That’s it for now.
I hope you enjoy it!

Just looking for a miracle, one last time


All I want for this Christmas is peace. Plain and simple. Peace within the current relationship I am in now. That’s it. I’m giving him one more chance. He agreed that he will seek help for his anger and other issues he has going on and I am going to go with that for now only because it is Christmas.

I am a domestic violence survivor and I refuse to be a survivor again. I don’t want to go through what I went through before. I refuse to let my kids witness any form of abuse whatsoever. I went through physical, verbal, and mental abuse for 20 years and I am not going allow it again. I have been with him for 1 year now and putting it bluntly I don’t have the time to waste on worrying every second of my life. This is it. He has never hit me but the verbal aspect of it is debilitating at times. I’m not stupid or dependent on others. I just don’t walk away easily and give people the benefit of the doubt too much sometimes.

“He” is on notice so I am taking this minute by minute. He went through something traumatic at Christmas time when he was younger but that is no excuse because so did I and I never but the blame on anything or anyone else for my actions so he shouldn’t either.

Today is the day before Christmas eve. This is weighing heavily on my mind and heart. I hope my decision is right by giving him this last chance. If not, I’m out. No ifs, ands, or buts.

Please, please, please just give me this one Christmas miracle that all will go well. So far since our discussion last Friday it has been going okay but I’m at my wits end taking it min by min. I need peace.

 

Snowy thoughts


Just summing up from yesterday, even though we did not have the boys or Alisha(and we were bumming from time to time about that) our day turned out pretty good. We had awesome food with some beautiful people. No stress, no fuss and that is exactly how it should be. I hope everyone else had a great day as well.
I am going to ramble on again so here it goes. You have to stop and think about what is your life all about? What’s happening that is good and bad? And, which parts of those occurrences are self-induced? I can’t say I had this epiphany just recently or not even in the past 10 years but my personal revelation of being happy with what I have has always been my number one priority. I feel that what God has given me now is a blessing and that primarily being in my book, is life. Anything else is icing on the cake. I listen to the people around me talk and I can see sadness and anguish on their faces. Think about what is causing that and what is the best solution to eliminate it. Life isn’t always going to go according as planned but working with what you have and making the best out if it is sometimes the answer to your problems.
The worst possible thing that could happen to me is my mom passing a couple of years ago. I still grieve over it but it is one of those things that was totally out of my control and inevitable. Some things in life like death you cannot change so the best thing to do is just roll with those feelings and eventually the pain will ease up some and you move on. I hate to be so cut and dry about it but it’s the truth, sad and painful at times, but true.
Where am I going with all this???? Oh okay yup I remember….in the end all the roller coaster of emotions and life’s ups and downs will eventually pay off. Whatever is going to be will be and if it isn’t what truly makes you happy then change it. Don’t take this life for granted. I know I won’t. Not now, not ever, and not for anyone. I have gold in my hands and even though it isn’t perfect I wouldn’t trade my life for anything in this world. I am so blessed.
Once again a new year is upon us. Start over and consciously make that effort to change what is wrong. I still have a lot of changes to make to get to where I want to be but it’s a process as life always is. Some changes are by all means not easy to make, like the ones I have ahead of me, but as time passes you will realize by making those changes you did the right thing to get to where you have to be and that is happy, and happy doesn’t cost a thing!!
Have a great day everyone. I’m sure I’ll be making another longwinded post again before Christmas. If my posts helps anyone out there who might need reassurance that everything will work out in the end, then I’m okay with that and if there are those of you that think I’m just plain nuts, then so be it! Lol!
“Life is good. Work hard, be humble, and most of all be kind to one another.” Oh and remember, “happy doesn’t cost a thing.” Love that saying!