Just looking for a miracle, one last time

All I want for this Christmas is peace. Plain and simple. Peace within the current relationship I am in now. That’s it. I’m giving him one more chance. He agreed that he will seek help for his anger and other issues he has going on and I am going to go with that for now only because it is Christmas.

I am a domestic violence survivor and I refuse to be a survivor again. I don’t want to go through what I went through before. I refuse to let my kids witness any form of abuse whatsoever. I went through physical, verbal, and mental abuse for 20 years and I am not going allow it again. I have been with him for 1 year now and putting it bluntly I don’t have the time to waste on worrying every second of my life. This is it. He has never hit me but the verbal aspect of it is debilitating at times. I’m not stupid or dependent on others. I just don’t walk away easily and give people the benefit of the doubt too much sometimes.

“He” is on notice so I am taking this minute by minute. He went through something traumatic at Christmas time when he was younger but that is no excuse because so did I and I never but the blame on anything or anyone else for my actions so he shouldn’t either.

Today is the day before Christmas eve. This is weighing heavily on my mind and heart. I hope my decision is right by giving him this last chance. If not, I’m out. No ifs, ands, or buts.

Please, please, please just give me this one Christmas miracle that all will go well. So far since our discussion last Friday it has been going okay but I’m at my wits end taking it min by min. I need peace.

 

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Author: Jeana

This is me. I'm a mom, a sister, a daughter, and friend. At times, and MOST of the time I live an ordinary life lol. I have two amazing teenage boys that I refer to ask my rocks. They are definitely as solid as they come and I am so grateful and blessed to have them in my life. I’m a teacher’s assistant and absolutely positively LOVE my job. Omg there is no greater pleasure in life then getting paid to do what you love to do. I’m not perfect nor is my life, but I try every day to get it right. This is my story and my journey. I hope you find some of my posts helpful, inspiring, useful, and not too boring lol. Thanks for visiting and I hope to hear some of your comments and questions if you have any to share.

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